No draft beer, no wifi, no toilets!

By: Bev Killick
No draft beer, no wifi, no toilets!

I’m very fortunate to travel to some pretty exotic locations working as a comedian on ships.

Today was no exception. No matter how many times I’ve been to a place, you never know what you might discover. Today’s stop was at The Isle Of Pines.

I packed my bag with a towel, sunnies, water and a magazine. I envisaged luxuriating in the sun for a bit and going to a bar with a deck to have a local beer. I’ve also used this bar’s toilets before so it’s pretty convenient. Everything in the one place and I can sit back and relax for a few hours. So off I set (after using my cabin loo) towards the gangway to take a tender boat over. I strolled at a slow pace as I knew I could use the loos at the bar whenever I needed. I stopped to have some local Kanak food called Bougna it’s cooked on rocks underground and is not unlike hangi.

After eating I strolled up to the bar to use the loo. It was shut.

Then I came across this sign. - No Wifi, No Craft Beer No toilets.

Ah..... dang!

I got myself a beer anyway and thought oh well I’ll sit for as long as possible reading and I’ll use nature to get relief AKA a wee swim in the ocean.

Then the weather turned so a swim was out. I read and drank and took in the sights for as long as I could before heading back to the ship.

I took a different route back and was more than pleasantly surprised to come across a brand new toilet facility that was exceptionally clean. So with that unexpected relief I sat on the grass taking in the stunning view.

Bev Killick

Bev Killick is a Melbourne-based actress, comedian, writer, singer and mother-of-two. She is an Ambassador for the Continence Foundation of Australia and the face of the Laugh Without Leaking awareness campaign.

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